Finally...

Finally...I've seen her...

After hanging up the phone with Jen (hs bf), I thought, why not give it one last try...and for some reason the search engine that time looked different from what it usually is...I've searched their names for a million times and never found any. I even tried to use which I thought "could be" their nicknames but found none. And then...my eyes widened, my heart beat so fast, I can feel the excitement within me...there it was, one of the names I've been searching for a very long time...his hometown gave me the hint that it was him...thank goodness it wasn't private at all...browsing his pictures just proved that it was indeed him! I felt so relieved, so happy, and so nervous - will this lead me to what my heart desires to see???

His profile wasn't the answer at all...and for a moment I thought a light bulb just popped out of my head like in cartoons and comics and so I looked at his testimonials hoping that it may lead me to her...And yet again, an idea came to mind when I saw a familiar name - my heart was beating faster this time...slowly, one at a time I viewed the pictures...picture 51, 52 - my hand froze seeing the guy I've used to dream about...the guy I thought I will one day marry...it was the first time I've seen him in the picture after 4 years and to my amazement he still looks exactly the same --- I continued looking at the pictures hoping to finally see her - the woman that he married...the woman who stole his heart from me...I don't know why I wanted to see her but I know that it will give me peace of mind - maybe so I could wake up from my dream and face reality...picture 64, 65, 66..........67, though I've been hoping and praying to see her one day (even in a picture), I didn't realize that I wasn't prepared at all - I didn't know how much hurt it will bring back to me - but then I also felt a sense of relief - "It's finally over. I have finally seen her."